#StayStrong: CHOOSE TO LIVE
This is something I feel very strongly about. I’ll let you in on a little secret. I used to get sick of super happy people. They would irk me because I thought they were just TOO happy. Who says that? I guess sometimes we can take happiness for granted. Then we go through something emotionally painful that makes us realize we would give anything to feel that happy. I decide to make a decision each day to see the world in a positive way, to love it and enjoy it because I never want to feel that hurt and hopelessness that I have felt in the past ever again.
I’m going to share with you a little bit about feelings I have gone through in hopes that it can help someone. To let anyone feeling emotional pain (great or small) can know they are not alone, that you are not screwed up (if you are, guess what? we ALL are so we are all with you), you are worth more than you give yourself credit for, you are loved, you have the power to change all this AND YOU ARE STRONG enough to do it.
Let’s face it… almost everyone has thought about it at some point in their life. It’s a thought and a feeling that’s experienced by people of all ages, genders, cultural and economic backgrounds. Most people choose to live at these moments because they realize that whatever they are going through will pass and is temporary but death… Death isn’t.
Some of us feel so much emotional pain that the thought lingers. Knowing that breaks my heart. I never want anyone to ever feel that despair. It hurts to know Suicide is the third leading cause of death among young people (15-24yrs) and it is the eighth leading cause of death among ALL people. Something Needs To Change.
It’s hard for me to write this but here I go… If you know me you know that I have always loved life and people. ALWAYS. I never thought I’d not want to exist in this world… I just hurt so much that I didn’t think there was any other way for the pain to go away. It seemed like no matter what I did, nothing was getting better. My world was falling apart. I felt worthless and that my life had no meaning. I thought, “What good am I on this earth?” I felt SO Alone.
No one understood and it seemed like no one even cared enough to understand. All I wanted was to care about others, to love and make a positive difference in this world. I felt like I was failing at everything in life and nothing I did was good enough. I thought I was nothing but a screw up and wasn’t worth being loved. If I was worthy of love then I would be loved back by those I invested my love in not have them hurt me repeatedly, right? I hated my life and I hated myself for not being enough for anything.
I was lucky enough to get help… I wish it was as easy as to say, I realized I need help and got it… I wish I was that strong. It took a long time. A series of events, talks and people that let me to a path of getting better. I’m so thankful I got help. What if I wasn’t here? What about my friends & family? Back then I was so deep in the forest of emotions that I couldn’t see clearly. It didn’t feel like there was any other way to make the pain go away or to make things better. Now I know, There IS a way.
It’s not always a path were you have a loving person there to help you be strong. I had to do this alone. Now there are resources to help anyone out there who need help. Talking to someone from the outside looking in and who has a compassionate heart can make all the difference.
I’ve met people who wanted to die for different reasons. Some feel so alone in the world and there is no one to care for understand them. Some people had loved ones pass away or leave them. I’ve met a child who tried because he was bullied so badly and tormented daily because he was different. I’ve met someone in an abusive family… they felt that there wasn’t any other way to ever experience better in their life. I’ve met a person who lost his job and couldn’t provide for his family. The financial burden was so great that ending his life seemed to be the answer to everything. It’s not the answer believe me.
If anyone ever wonders why I’m always so happy or why I keep putting out positive messages… It’s not only because this is how I see the world and it’s the kind of person I am, but I want to give so that anyone out there who doesn’t feel like it’s a good day can smile. So you can have a place to know that you can have fun. Twitter has saved my life. You have saved me from depression and I try to give back to you because of it. I now make a decision each day to #StayStrong and I #ChooseToLive
I love you all dearly. I want the best for all of you. I want to protect you all and keep you from so many crappy things that can happen but life isn’t easy at all. It’s so crazy, difficult and unfair. It’s not easy to share my life but I hope that if you see me go through hardship and overcome, that you can see that you can do it too. This life is beautiful. You have to open your eyes to see it and walk out your front door to experience it. Again, I love you all and never forget that You are Strong Enough.
Love Always & Forever,
Melina
PLEASE!!!
If there is anyone out there who needs help or just need someone to talk to when you don’t know how to make sense out of life, when you are in pain or feel like hurting yourself call the numbers listed below… talking makes a world of difference:
1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
1-800-SUICIDE (1-800-784-2433)
or visit
http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/
